The Social Butterfly

Earlier tonight I had a conversation with my now ex-fiance. We ended on pretty shaky ground, but since splitting we have tried to speak to each other (in part because of our son). During the conversation he mentioned that he missed me, all the qualities he felt that I have and so on...but then said that unless he and I were to ever hook back up, he'd NEVER date another sista. I asked him why this is and he went on to tell me how all black women (and quickly went on to exclude me) have really bad attitudes, are not feminine, try to run men as if they were the man in the relationship and so on.

Now I asked if he felt this way, why'd he date and decide that he may have wanted to marry me, and his answer was basically that I was not this way and that I had a good heart.

Now, I'm sure many of you have seen topics such as this on talk shows and so forth, but do most if not all black me really feel this way about black women? Is this why we see that the majority of interracial relationships include black men with women of other races? I personally feel that if you find love, it does not matter their race...but I don't know I could be alone on that feeling.

Some brotha's say that all sista's are gold diggers, or can't take care of themselves and only want the man who can buy them things or have nice things. Again, I could only be speaking on me (I don't believe so) but obviously NOT ALL black women are after material things. Not to put my ex down, but he didn't have much throughout our entire relationship and to this day I would do anything for him. I never cared about what he had...it was always who he was. I got my own money, I don't need his, nor would I want it. It's just like the whole issue of spousal support...yeah I think that just out of splitting amicably, there should be something offered to the other person if they don't have much...but are they entitled to it? What exactly did they do to help their partner get their money? Did Juanita shoot any of those baskets for Jordan during his career? No, but she did raise his kids while he was working. Should she have gotten what she recieved...probably not.

I'm getting off topic. Anyway, it just kinda seems unfair that all black women are being put into this one stereotype that we all do not fall under. I mean, yeah thanks babe...even though I'm black we'd possibly still have a future one day...but why am I the "last hope" for a sista to get with him. And where does that leave me in the future. I love all races indeed...but I gotta have a brotha, plain and simple. I hope I'm not pushed aside in the future just because I happen to be a black female.

I think as black women we need to step our game up because all of us are getting a bad rep for what a few are doing to our men. If you are with someone outside of your race simply because that's who you fell in love with I am not speaking about you...the Lord gave you that person for a real reason...this is only to those men who refuse to date sista's because of a few bad apples.